Do you know that we all have an amazing super power, but few of us learn how to use it only for good?
This power is the power of our words. You may have heard the childhood rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!” And, if you’ve ever had hurtful words spoken to you, you know that they hurt just as much as physical pain and often take a much longer time to heal. So much pain in our families, our communities, and our world is caused by hurtful, condemning, judgmental words.
On the flip side, our words have the ability to heal, to love, to nurture, to lift up. We get to choose, moment-to-moment, day-by-day, how we want to use our words. The power is ours.
So, how do we begin to use this power for good?
First, by changing the way we talk to ourselves and about ourselves.
Most of us on the planet find it easy to criticize or judge ourselves. We think or say things like “I’ll never be good enough.” “I’m so fat.” “I’m lazy and unmotivated.” And these thoughts and voices go on and on. When we listen to them, we feel bad, sad, depressed, and stuck.
However, when we start to think and talk about ourselves in a loving, kind, supportive way, we find that we start to feel better, not just about ourselves, but about our lives and the people around us.
At first, you may feel like you’re pretending or making it up. But, each of us was created with purpose and perfection. We are all doing the best that we know how in every moment. Know that as you start to think and speak about yourself in a positive, supportive way, your life will reflect that.
Second, by changing the way we talk to those closest to us.
When we begin to use our words to support, love and encourage those closest to us, we literally deepen our relationship and connection with them.
I’m sure that you’ve had the experience of someone close to you saying something really hurtful. How did it make you feel?
You may have felt hurt, sad, discouraged, frustrated or angry. These feelings make you feel separate and disconnected from that person. They also may make you feel like striking back with some negative words of your own. Can you feel the pain in this? It’s like stepping into a mini war!
Speaking kind, supportive, loving words, no matter what the situation is, takes practice. It’s not about speaking perfectly all the time. It’s about developing the awareness and intention to create more love and connection through our words. Sometimes, the best choice is to say nothing at all until you can find something positive to say.
Third, by changing the way we talk about and to strangers.
Do you notice how easy it is to judge and talk about people we don’t know? Almost feels like a certain level of safety in that because they can’t hear us or know what we are saying about them. Maybe we make a negative comment about a homeless person or the cashier at the store. Maybe we judge the way a person is dressed because it is so different than how we dress.
Instead of talking about strangers in a negative, judgmental way, we can choose to suspend our judgment and instead engage our curiosity. By being curious, we open ourselves to new information and new viewpoints.
Instead of judging the homeless person as dirty or scary, we may wonder how they became homeless. We may actually speak to them and ask them about their story. With that personal connection, we may feel compelled to offer them food or at least a smile.
Instead of remarking about how tacky a person’s clothes are, we may wonder why they made that choice. Are they from a different area or a different culture? We might speculate about what they like about the way they are dressed. Do they like bright colors and patterns? Is comfort most important?
Instead of criticizing the cashier because the line is moving slowly, we may notice that she is really engaging and caring for her customers. Or, we may see that she’s having a bad day and really can’t focus. Or, we may notice that she’s got a difficult customer that requires extra attention. So as she rings up our purchase, we may feel compelled to smile and say, ” I can see you’re working really hard.” Or “Are you having a tough day?” Can you see that by becoming curious and open to new information and insight, we often find a different response?
You have the power of your words available to you in every moment. You get to choose to love, support, encourage and heal yourself and all those around you. Through this you receive more love, more joy, and deeper relationships. You get to contribute to the love and healing in the world. Isn’t that a power worth embracing?